Do you get upset when you're going through something, and people aren't there to support you?
Conventional wisdom tells us to take note of the people who don't support us. However, when we focus on them, we're focusing on the negative. That's not going to help us.
I used to do this a lot until I started letting go of having expectations of people and focused on the positive. I realized the expectation of needing someone's support would cause me stress if they didn't do it. That would make me feel worse when I was struggling with something or would diminish an achievement I had.
Plus many times we assume people don't care about us when they don't show support. However, people might not support us because they have their own struggles, their insecurities are triggered (which is human), they don't know how to show support in the way you want it, or for a plethora of reasons we don't understand. We create stories in our minds about them without knowing any information about what they're going through. We make judgments without knowing any facts.
I've gotten better at focusing on those who are there for me and not condemning those who aren't. However, this week, I slipped back and thought a friend didn't seem to support me. I knew not to do this, and I knew that I only felt this way because I was feeling a little down. One negative thing made me create a negative story about a friend, BUT I caught myself. I even had a convo with that person and told them my thoughts and wouldn't you know...they were going through something too.
Rise above criticism and focus on the good.
Arathi Ramappa is a certified executive coach, certified spiritual life coach, speaker, and management consultant who helps individuals thrive in life and business. Using the concepts of emotional intelligence, self-compassion, and mindfulness, Arathi has helped clients start their own businesses, develop leadership skills, diminish conflict in relationships, implement positive behaviors, and increase confidence.
Arathi offers one-on-one coaching and emotional intelligence and conscious principles workshops to organizations. She created the EASE approach to help others Explore, Analyze, Strengthen, and Empower their thinking to identify and conquer obstacles to success and change their lives and businesses.
With twenty years of experience in business management coupled with certifications in coaching and emotional intelligence, Arathi’s background as a serial entrepreneur and a veteran in the start-up space has provided her with extensive cross-functional knowledge that she can apply to any situation or client. She has managed teams globally in places such as India, Japan, China, Germany, Canada, Taiwan, Eastern Europe, as well as the U.S., and has worked with a wide range of clients including from the financial, healthcare, cybersecurity, and fashion industries, among others.
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