We don’t like to call people “illegal,” but we’re fine with calling people “toxic.” Isn’t it demeaning to say someone is poison? How can we be positive and call people toxic at the same time? It’s ironic.
In our urge to be positive & happy why must we call others that don’t match our energy as toxic? I believe we’re better than this. We know, “Hurt people hurt others.” People act from pain so acknowledge it and understand it. I'm not saying we don't let go of people who are abusive. We should. I'm talking about the people we think drain our energy.
Let's ask ourselves what role did we play in the "negativity"? How did we attract it? Remember, we don't always act like our best selves. We've been negative, mean, rude, hurtful, unkind, and unloving. I have, and it was usually with someone close like family. I did so when I felt misunderstood, unloved, unappreciated, unworthy, etc. This is why we act out. Understand this about yourself and others.
When I am happy about myself & life, it doesn’t bother me if people are "negative" around me. It doesn't affect my energy. If it does, it means that I need to align with myself. Think about it. When we're really happy, things don’t bother us.
Sometimes I do need to pull away from a person. But at the end of the day, I strive to have an energetic level where no one’s negativity disrupts my energy, and I only show love. It sounds hard, but I believe we can get there. Continually practicing love for ourselves makes it easier to do so with others.
If we need to let go, be kind. Say, “I recognize this person is acting from pain. I know what pain feels like and I hope they find their peace. In the meantime, I have to move on.” It's loving, and it HELPS US HEAL because we understand where their actions come from even if we don’t know the exact cause.
Words matter. Let's remove the word toxic and recognize people act from pain even if they’re aware of it or not.
Arathi Ramappa is a certified executive coach, certified spiritual life coach, speaker, and management consultant who helps individuals thrive in life and business. Using the concepts of emotional intelligence, self-compassion, and mindfulness, Arathi has helped clients start their own businesses, develop leadership skills, diminish conflict in relationships, implement positive behaviors, and increase confidence.
Arathi offers one-on-one coaching and emotional intelligence and conscious principles workshops to organizations. She created the EASE approach to help others Explore, Analyze, Strengthen, and Empower their thinking to identify and conquer obstacles to success and change their lives and businesses.
With twenty years of experience in business management coupled with certifications in coaching and emotional intelligence, Arathi’s background as a serial entrepreneur and a veteran in the start-up space has provided her with extensive cross-functional knowledge that she can apply to any situation or client. She has managed teams globally in places such as India, Japan, China, Germany, Canada, Taiwan, Eastern Europe, as well as the U.S., and has worked with a wide range of clients including from the financial, healthcare, cybersecurity, and fashion industries, among others.
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